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It seems many pro-UFOlogists tend to have some difficulty with believing how poor a UFO observation can be, not to mention how inflated, distorted and embellished
that poor report may become as the story weaves its way through the sensational rumor-mills of Saucerdom, and becomes magically transformed into rock-solid ‘Unidentified!’
Perhaps, as I have recently learned such UFOOLogy stems from a passionate rejection of western science and the intellectual contributions of men like Thomas
Huxley. Or, this kind of behavior may be rooted in what Karl Pflock identified as “The UFOlogist’s will to believe.”
I shall offer but, a few case examples of how bad a UFO report can be in this brief article, with the hopes that no one will be offended by the obvious misperceptions
and misinterpretations the witnesses have made regarding their strange, sudden and shocking UFO experiences.
I will close this article with a ‘belly-laugh’ true story of the attempts of one relatively new saucer crash expert who has ‘borrowed’ and embellished a very old
and well-known UFO hoax to advance his own promotional agenda and rise to stardom in contemporary Saucerdom!
These Cautionary Tales are dedicated to the memories of my dear friends, Karl T. Pflock, Robert G. Todd, Philip J. Klass, UFORIC’s Gordon Myers and APRO/UFORIC
researcher Mike McClellan who wrote a very persuasive article debunking the Aztec UFO crash claims of the charlatan, Professor Robert Spencer Car back in the early seventies.
SAMPLING THE REPORTS
Bristol/Levitown, Pa, back in the midseventies: Police were dispatched in the pouring rain on a dark windy night in response to a frantic call from a woman who had been terrorized and chased from a parking lot into her apartment building by a low-flying, frightfully noisy UFO! Others in the apartment building had heardand seen the fleeting, dark saucer too.
They told officers “It seemed to be circling the building at very low altitude!” Two police cruisers arrived on the scene with their lights flashing in urgency. Cops hurried curious residents out of danger.
Then, they took up defensive positions behind their vehicle’s opened doors with pistols drawn and pointed skyward, as the strange triangular craft dove at them and
quickly vanished into the darkness…. its loud fluttering sound fading in the howling wind and pouring rain.
I had been notified by a police source (Because of earlier UFO reports in the township I had investigated), and arrived on the scene a bit later. By that time, it was
learned the dark triangular UFO was actually a youngster’s Batman kite with its tether tangled in a rooftop TV antenna.
It was made of black plastic (Like that of a lawn and leaf disposal bag), and its loud fluttering sound was produced as the wind flowed from its flexible trailing edges.
In another instance, a MUFON UFO field investigator phoned about a UFO he had spotted while driving to work early one morning. He had observed the object with a dark band along its middle (on the horizontal axis of the craft) He observed the object again the following day, it was a ‘MetLife blimp’ with a blue stripe on its side (Flying above a TV covered golf tournament). On the first morning it was quite hazy and the details of the blimp were not distinct to the unaided eye. Back in the 70’s my wife (Grace) received a call from her younger sister whose husband was stationed in San Diego, California.
She told my wife of a huge “Torpedolike silvery UFO” which was flying along the coast. She said it was enormous, not noisy like the jets she often saw and small power and sailboats in the water were slipping in and out of the colossal UFO’s shadow as it slowly moved along.
Later that evening my brother-in-lawphoned and embarrassingly told me his wife had mistaken the Goodyear Blimp for a silvery-mother ship. He was absolutely astonished his wife did not know such blimps existed. She had never heard of the Hindenburg disaster, Zeppelins or, the Akron blimp of sad memory. So, here we may be confronted a generational gap of common knowledge and complete ignorance of aeronautical history!?
Another UFO field investigator who is a MUFPON leader in Pennsylvania, phoned with a report by a lady living on a farm. She had reported a UFO which appeared to be an airplane flying backwards! The plane was actually an experimental privately- owned aircraft from a nearby air facility, NOT a flying saucer in disguise!
Although, the objects mentioned above were first perceived and reacted to by witnesses, UFO investigators and Police personnel as UFOs ( i.e., Assumed alien spacecraft). These overly-zealous and errant reactions were based entirely on scant observational data/clarity and ignorance of all the other possible tell-tale identity indicators involved in the incidents.
In short, a UFO sighting may appear strange and unidentifiable to those who apply A KNEE-JERK REACTION TO THEIR FAULTY OBSERVATIONS AND PREDISPOSITION
ABOUT UFOs AS VISITING ALIEN SPACECRAFT.
AZTECIAN UFOOLOGY!
In another free-fall of non-logic example. One saucer crash expert currently on the scene is spreading his ‘New Age Gospel of nonsense’ about a saucer crash that ‘allegedly’ took place fifty-one years ago in the desert near Aztec, New Mexico. Unfortunately, two criminal con men were tried a convicted for this same hokum
during the early fifties, using a very similar UFO crash yarn which was merely the prelude to bulking investors out of money.
But, now the old dusty hoax has been revisited and with a soon to be published book ignoring all the court records and the verdict. The long-dead case has been
‘Resuscitated’ for a new generation of unsuspecting UFO enthusiasts and believers.
There are of course, little problems one must overlook at times, obvious excesses and contradictions which tend totake the old tale to new heights of absurdity:

1. The expert claims someone at the crash site, pressed a button inside the craft (Presumably, with a stick shoved through the broken glass of one of the craft’s portholes) Then, the 80 foot in diameter craft suddenly fell apart in sections… Something like a gigantic transformer toy, I guess!?
2. This remarkable transformational feat, may help us grasp how an 80 foot in diameter alien spacecraft may have been loaded upon 8 foot wide flat-bed truck and spirited away from the scene by (You guessed it!) The super-secretive and cover up skilled specialists of the U.S. military.
3. Of course, there are a whole passel of newly discovered witnesses to the crash. Although some may think it a wee bit unusual so many folks just happened to be in that particular part of the lonely desert when the ill-fated alien saucer plummeted to Earth. One must realize these folkshave kept silent for over fifty years, waiting for just the right opportunity to be part of this historically significant book on the mythical cover up,despite this publication not being the first attempt to resurrect the yarn, while also over-looking the fact that Mike McClellan had found NO eyewitnesses to the event during his investigation back in the early seventies.
4. Then, we are informed a work crew of El Passo Oil and Gas company employees came upon the downed saucer after being dispatched to the scene of a small brush fire near a company drip tank. The problem is old-timers who lived in the area all their lives say oil and gas company tanks and lines were not yet existentin the alleged crash sire area before 1960. So, there may be a bit of a time line problem with the new version of the 1948 story? (This bit of information was provided by a MUFON state director’s report. He had interviewed Aztec old-timers back in the 1990’s)
5. Back in the 1940’s a military pilot had emergency landed a P-38 lightning fighter plane at a property near the ‘alleged’ crash site. A group of mechanics came a few days later, disassembled some of the aircraft and loaded it upon a big truck before driving away. A local newspaper owner who was something of a colorful character, well-known for his leg-pulling nature may have adapted the factual story into a saucer crash yarn ? (At least, one of the old-times suggests that possibility), and others
in the area spoke of the newsman’s chronic yarn-spinning too! He had even once published a news story about his being taken aboard a space ship in the desert by little saucer men, and visited with ranch-hands who relished his stories as they gathered in barns and bunkhouses.
I’m afraid there is very little anyone can do to divert the flood of saucer hokum. But “SUNlite” is an online life preserver in the turbulent waters of UFOOLOGY for those who would embrace its intellectual wisdom.
Oh yes ‘UFOOLogy’ is a rather pithy (Extra vowel) word I coined about fifteen years ago, it may be defined as the consensuspowered corruption of the scientific method, a lack of applied prudence, and the careless abandon of common sense reasoning skills in favor of purely emotional anecdotal accounts. In the old days out west, it was simply known as “Spoofing” young fellers and gullible easterners.

JOYOUS NANOSH TO ONE AND ALL
‘Twas the night before Nanosh and all through the ship, not a hybrid was stirring, not even a blip. The stun guns were hung by the ejection pod’s door, and six photon torpedoes lie stacked on the floor. When out on the ship’s rim there arose such a clatter, I thought in the instant we’d struck anti-matter. But, the word quickly spread that
“Nanosh” had arrived, and we feasted on tribbles both, sauted and fried.
Oh what a joyous and festive event, we danced with Abductees ‘til the evening was spent. Yes, Nanosh had come, and we all felt the glee, except for some Hybrid that
paused to go wee. So, beam up to see us on Nanosh next year, we’ll nibble on tribbles, and drink lots o’ beer...and we’ll feast, and we’ll feast ‘til your Earth belly pops, just remember rule one..bring a Hybrid a pot!
About NANOSH
Dear Saucer-heads, Saucerettes or Saucer Cross-Dressers, (please take your pick).I just thought I’d send you these Holiday Greetings, while also wishing you and yours a heart felt and Joyous Nanosh.
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Quelle: SUNlite 1/2010 - Matthew Graeber